I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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