I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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