can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
