It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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