We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
