I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
