I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
