I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
