I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
