I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
