when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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