Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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