She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
