No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
