How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
