That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
