all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
