That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
