I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
