Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
