Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
