I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
