I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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