You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize