i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
