Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
