Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just high enough for therapy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The Olympian is in my bed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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