i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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