he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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