oh god the rape fog is back!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
