some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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