dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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