sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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