Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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