I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
