Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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