had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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