It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
