I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
