Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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