I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
