it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have aggressive nipples.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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