i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
