so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
