dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
