yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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