literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
