She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Congratulations! We have a period
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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