No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
