My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
did you just send me my own nude
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
