was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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