it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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