He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
