The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
