chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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