whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
