You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
