my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
