so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
